Velveeta Shortage Before Superbowl, Country In A Frenzy


Christ on a cracker.. Apparently Americans are eating more fake cheese products than our Kraft mills can handle.. we haven’t seen the likes of this sort of national emergency since the great Aporkalypse of 2013 where we thought that we might be running low on America’s favorite pastime… bacon.

I know. The horror.

Remember when we couldn’t get Twinkees for a few months back in 20012. Otherwise known as the Hostessapocalypse.. This is not a drill people. NOT A DRILL!

Superbowl parties are a-comin’ and this shortage may cause mass panic in major cities everywhere across the US. You’d better stock up because there’s only one brand for that fake cheesy goodness- Velveeta. You can take my guns, but not my Velveeta.

You can bet this is probably Obama’s fault, don’t let those liberalists take our cheese food!

We could be faced with famine, death, false prophets, this cheeseapocalypse could be serious. Grab your Velveeta while it’s still among us and TAKE. COVER.. Or crackers.


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